The flower in the picture above is missing a petal, but does that make it any less of a flower or any less beautiful?...
I have to admit that I'm quite the perfectionist. I like everything to be in its right place. I like every 'T' crossed and every 'I' dotted. I like for it to be the "right time" before I do something, like when I launched this website and blog. I told myself that I needed to learn as much as I could about websites and blogging before I could begin writing. But here's the key - I feel anxiety and stress if things are not just so. So yeah, like I said, a perfectionist.
I'm working on this though, because I know that there is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is an illusion that tricks us into thinking we can reach a place of invulnerability. Some sort of protection from getting hurt or ridiculed.
I don't know if I would still have issues with perfectionism today if I hadn't been bullied, but I know that being bullied definitely contributes to it.
I was bullied every day of the school year for two years in a row. I was made to feel imperfect. I felt like the oddball who didn't fit in. The one who could never say or do the right things. Maybe it was how I looked; the acne on my face, my unstyled hair, or how I dressed. All I know is I felt inadequate.
Eventually I got to a point where I felt the need to make up for my "shortcomings." Consciously, or subconsciously, I became a perfectionist. If I was bullied because I was imperfect then perfection had to be the solution, right?
It made sense to me. I thought that if I was perfect then there would be nothing for someone to pick on. No reason for them to judge me. Do you ever feel this way?
The problem with this logic is that it is seriously flawed! If there is no such thing as perfection, then there's no basis for our argument. Not to mention that if someone wants to pick on you or judge you, they will find a reason. They might even judge you for trying to be perfect. This is why I say that you're not perfect and you don't have to be!
There's nothing wrong with striving to be your best as long as you know that you can never be perfect. You weren't meant to be perfect because you were meant to be unique. That makes being unique actually normal. Think about that.
Wanting to be perfect is a waste of time that will only make you anxious and depressed because you will struggle to attain something that isn't attainable. It's also really stressful because you end up making things more difficult than they need to be.
Remember, you have every right to be you. Those that judge you aren't perfect themselves. Be careful not to judge yourself either. It is in our uniqueness that we are as we are perfectly meant to be.
Just like the flower above, even if we are missing a petal we are still a person and we are still beautiful.
Please leave a comment and let me know if you have any stories or questions.
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