In this episode, I’m joined by Kimberly Borges of KimberlyBorges.com. Kimberly joins me to share her story of how she’s been able to create the life she has today using self-help and personal development techniques to heal from growing up with an authoritarian parent who controlled everything she did.
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Kimberly grew up in Hawaii where she lived with her mother, half sisters, and stepfather who was a retired police officer. Kimberly’s stepfather was an authoritarian with very strict views about how a “perfect Japanese girl” should be so he controlled everything from her physical appearance to her life choices. Kimberly even had to wear a private school uniform to public school in order to avoid being inappropriate in her attire.
When Kimberly started to make friends, she wasn’t allowed to do traditional activities with them, so she learned to hold back from engaging with other girls. Kimberly was shy and awkward and didn’t know how to talk to kids her age, so she was not only miserable at home, but was also miserable in school.
Effects of the traumatic experience:
Kimberly took on a 'screw everyone' persona in high school and became very rebellious against authority. She started running away, attending parties, drinking, and doing drugs. Kimberly would leave home for weeks at time and was gone for three months between junior and senior years. Kimberly’s parents would have her arrested every time she ran away from home and she was eventually sentenced to a juvenile facility with actual delinquents until she was 18.
Overcoming the traumatic experience:
Kimberly’s father eventually had mental break and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and OCD. This inspired Kimberly to work to unlearn lessons learned as a child. Kimberly had been in therapy for a good portion of her life, and she had a turning point in her late 20’s where she was able to benefit from the therapy. After about three years, she then got to point where it didn’t feel like enough. This is when she started reading books, listening to podcasts, meditating and using EFT (tapping) to embark on a spiritual self-love journey to get to the next level of healing.
What Kimberly does today: Kimberly is a transformational brand coach.
Given what you know now, if you could go back to when you were going through the tough times and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?
Kimberly's Answer: In life, contrast is inevitable; resistance and suffering to that contrast is a choice.
Kimberly on Social Media:
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff
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