In this episode of The Grass Gets Greener podcast, I'm joined by Bobbi Parish of The #NoMoreShame Project and Trauma Recovery University. Bobbi joins me to share her story of overcoming a need to prove herself because of thinking she'd never be good enough to being able to support and educate other survivors now.
Click the play button below to check it out!
Bobbi is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. She was abused by a close family member from the ages of 3-11.
Effects of the traumatic experience:
During the time of the abuse, Bobbi blamed herself for it but she also felt confused as to why it was happening. She also felt badly about herself and thought that she must be a bad person. The abuse made her feel like she'd never be good enough so she tried to be perfect and prove herself to the world. She became depressed from a lack of hope, and she was suicidal. Bobbi still deals with depression to this day and is not comfortable in large crowds.
Overcoming the traumatic experience:
The turning point for Bobbi was getting specialized treatment specifically for trauma survivors. Other things that have helped her have been sharing her story, being in community with other survivors and learning to accept the things she still struggles with.
What Bobbi does today:
Bobbi is one of the founders of The #NoMoreShame Project and Trauma Recovery University. She is an author, a coach and an advocate for other trauma survivors.
Given what you know now, if you could go back to when you were going through the tough times and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?
Bobbi's Answer: Don't believe those who tell you that you're not lovable or valuable.
TraumaRecoveryUniversity.com - The website of The #NoMoreShame Project where you can find resources for trauma survivors
BobbiParish.com - Bobbi's personal website
Discovering True - The anthology of stories from survivors of childhood sexual abuse
#CSAQT - Twitter chat on Monday's at 10am PST / 1pm EST / 6pm GMT for survivors of sexual abuse
#SexAbuseChat - Twitter chat on Tuesday's at 6pm PST / 9pm EST also for survivors of sexual abuse
Affiliate Disclosure: Please note that some of the links above are affiliate links. There is no additional cost to you, and I will earn a commission if you decide to make a purchase.
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Perfectionism- ah, I know it all too well. My wife is much less neat freaky than I am, so, I let go of some of it that way. Mostly, I just came to the slow realization that perfectionism didn’t stop the abuse. It didn’t change how my mother acted, and it didn’t get rid of the overall problem.
I still struggle with it, so, as always, Work In Progress.
Melissa Wilson says
Hey Jak, thanks for listening and for leaving a comment! Yeah, I know perfectionism all too well myself, and it’s a work in progress for me as well. Because the abuse isn’t our fault, it’s always good to realize that whether we were perfect or not didn’t matter. Unfortunately, we thought it might have so we tried to be that way, but now we’re just left to deal with the perfectionism along with everything else.